I Conan: Cimmerian by L. J. Laroch

by Gary Romeo

It has been said that any Conan story not written by Robert E. Howard is fan fiction. I agree with that but “fan fiction” doesn’t necessarily equal bad fiction. And there is the distinction between authorized and unauthorized continuations. Authorized (the intellectual property owner gets paid) fiction is usually held to a marketplace standard. It has to provide entertainment for the original fans and there is a profit motive (usually). Fan fiction is written by a fan to just please other die-hard fans (and him or herself). Expectations are lower and (usually) profit isn’t a motive.

This book is unauthorized fan fiction. The publisher is Dorrance Publishing. You might have seen their ads on the internet. As vanity presses go, they are one of the oldest (established in 1920) and appear to be fairly successful. I have no problem with the concept. If you want to avoid rejection letters and self-promote your book, then go for it.

This book probably features the least attractive “Conan” cover ever published. It is credited as “Cover design by Renee Biertempfel.” Published in 2021, it is still available to purchase through Amazon (the Kindle version is around $8). The dedication tells us “There are many holes in the Conan timeline. This work is intended to fill some of those gaps. Enjoy!” 

I actually did for the most part enjoy this book. I’ll admit to lowered expectations and treating it differently than an authorized item. When I read fan fiction, I can’t help grading on a curve. The book isn’t great, and it is totally unnecessary to read. Nevertheless, I was never bored and read it quite fast. Anything after the Lancer/Ace Conan series is “multiverse Conan” to me. I don’t get hung up on consistency. That will drive you nuts. I just hope any errors are not too grievous.

The novel starts in Cimmeria. We learn of conflicts between the different clans. The novel takes its cue from the Conan the Barbarian movie and has Conan’s father known for his steel weapons. (So, we are immediately on shaky ground.) Conan’s father is named Krulag here. His mother is Bashera. (Multiverse Conans have blacksmith fathers but his parents’ names change often.) This is a novel about young Conan. Conan is born after a “raider incident” which is not quite “the born on a battlefield” mentioned by REH. Nevertheless, violence is witnessed at birth.

The story flows in a slow burn neo realist way. It features common Cimmerians in their day-to-day activities: mining ore, hunting, setting traps, shoeing horses. The back cover information tells us that the author was an Eagle Scout. I expected more details regarding woodcraft and outdoor survival. This adventure takes place in woods and mountains and seems believable but the level of detail while fine isn’t at the level I was expecting after reading that back cover. As the novel progresses there are some fairly graphic sex scenes. Conan learning the “discipline of steel” is the springboard for adventure rather than a hero/villain conflict.

The “weird” element comes in the form of witch doctor mummery and red-haired giants. No grand sorcerers or minions of Set. Everything in the book is remarkably low key. The ending is somewhat abrupt, I guess signaling a sequel is planned.

The whole package: bad art, Dorrance publishing, meandering (but not boring) story gives a low budget feel to the book. And there are some typos. Cimmerian is spelled Cimmarian at least once and “loose” is used instead of “lose” at least twice. Scourge is misspelled as scurge. Aquilonia is spelled as Aqualonia throughout the text. The northern barbaric lands are collectively referred to as Hyperboria. The book is 372 pages long, but these slight errors are forgiven (if not forgotten) by the end of it.

Definitely only for completists. But not a terrible piece of fan fiction. 

There is a sequel available directly from Dorrance. I haven’t seen the book listed on Amazon. I’ll probably get it, but I’m old and have a collecting sickness.